March 12, 2016

Tomorrow is the last day of spring break.  I’m only human, so a big part of me wants to stay at home and continue to watch Netflix as rain creates a calming atmosphere.  But there is a part of me that is excited to go back.  I want to immerse myself back into the crazy schedule that is my life at school.  I want to stay busy because honestly, all of my responsibilities take my mind off of the stress I’ve been feeling lately.  The stress has sort of heightened while I’ve been home.

I have been staying in my old bedroom for the past week.  I could feel myself lapsing into my former self, my childhood self.  I even spent the week watching every single Harry Potter movie (totally worth it).  My childhood self was very introverted, and for the past couple of weeks I could feel myself becoming more and more introverted than I usually am.  Being home really maximized this part of myself, and I also just wanted to escape all of the questions that having been filling my head lately.

Questions seem to be the theme of my life this semester.  Not one specific question, but many in general.  Questions about my social circle, questions about my academics, questions about my relationship, questions about my career path.  I get asked questions every day by my friends and family.  I find it exhausting because the questions that are most frequently asked are the ones I don’t want to answer.  No, I don’t know when I want to get married; No, I don’t have a job in mind for after graduation.

Returning to school will help me temporarily run from the questions.  The questions will turn into exams and quizzes.  I will be required to use logic and memory rather than major decision making.  But there are only a few short weeks left in the semester, and classes will be over.  The questions will still be there.  And there will always be questions, this isn’t just a temporary phase.

March 5, 2016

Today was my first full day of spring break.  When I woke up this morning (and rather late I might add) I breathed a sigh of relief.  I have a few days without the burdens of classes or homework.  Sort of.  While I don’t have to attend class and I don’t have any assignments due this week, I will as soon as I get back.  I have two midterms and quite a few assignments due when I get back, so my carefree sigh of relief only lasted for about 3 seconds.

But amidst the spring break blues of working and studying, I am extremely excited.  On Tuesday I will have an interview for my first (possible) full time job.  It is for a marketing and sales position at a local newspaper.  I am really looking forward to this, and I honestly really want the job.

Sometimes in life we have these “AHA moments”.  I usually don’t entertain the existence of these moments, but I had one recently. For most of my college experience, I have not had an answer to the “dream job” question.  I would always reply, “Any job is a dream job!” because I honestly didn’t know what I wanted.  Now I do know what I want, and I realized that it has been there the whole time.  I like news.  I like news gathering and I like news production.  And I like writing.  Everything that is encompassed in a newspaper, magazine, broadcast or web post interests me and inspires me.  And this is the way I have always been.  It’s who I am.  I have been ignoring this part of myself, either brushing it aside or making it complicated.

So last week I went to the career fair.  I sought out the representatives for the newspaper and presented who I was.  I felt heard and respected and like the individual that I am.  When I got the call for the interview a few days ago, I felt this rush, like somehow this was supposed to happen.  I know that there is a chance that I may not be hired, I might not be who they are looking for.  But now I have this sense of direction.  Direction is something that I have been lacking lately, and this little arrow was exactly what I needed.

March 2, 2016

In a previous post I wrote about how I wasn’t stressed about midterms, and that I really didn’t feel too much pressure during midterms week.  I lied.  It is now Wednesday and I am in full midterm mode and it is not fun.  I’m not sure if it’s just something about this semester, but it feels like one moment I was receiving syllabi, and just yesterday I had midterm study guides thrown at me at the last possible minute.  I know I like to procrastinate, but something about this semester feels rushed.

So in the midst of midterms, my schedule has been completely filled.  I mentioned that I was going to a career day, which I did yesterday.  I got dressed up, printed out copies of my resume, and headed over.  The flier for the event made it sound like the companies had full-time job offers and other opportunities, but I found that only about half did.  Most companies only offered internships, and some didn’t offer any positions at all.  I spoke to a few booths about hiring possibilities, and I felt like it was a productive experience, but it wasn’t quite what I expect.  Also, I just have to make a comment on the conduct of other attendees there.  I was speaking to a gentleman about job opportunities at his establishment, and I young man bounded up borderline pushing me out of the way.  He aggressively stuck out his hand towards the gentleman and introduced himself while I was still speaking.  I was thrown off-guard so I turned by back to him and continued the conversation because I wasn’t about to let this guy just ruin my opportunity.  Turns out, he can only walk the walk because once the gentleman made it clear he wasn’t done speaking with me, the guy walked away as fast as he appeared.  I totally understand that you need to be assertive, especially when it comes to job hunting, but this guy was rude and I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself for icing him out.

Hopefully I will be hearing back from some of the company’s I talked to! If not, it won’t be the end of the world but I really would love to hear back from someone.

February 27, 2016

Late. This post was supposed to be published on Saturday but I was thrust into a busy weekend. On Saturday I spent the day in Turlock, California to watch a few old teammates play a tennis match against Stanislaus State.  It was so great being able to visit with old friends, some of whom I haven’t seen since May.  I miss being on a tennis team, but I still stand by the decision I made to transfer to Fresno Pacific.  

I wanted to go to FPU because I felt like I wasn’t getting the most out of my college experience.  I wanted a job, an internship, or some type of experience that would help towards a future career and I felt like tennis wasn’t doing that for me.  So here I am, juggling a few different responsibilities.  My old teammates said to me “Oh, you must have so much free time now!” All I could do in response was laugh.

This week midterm exams are coming up, and to be honest I’m very stressed.  I really don’t even have too many tough midterms which is nice because last semester was brutal when it came to midterms. I genuinely think that the reason why I am not stressing about midterms is because I am stressing about other things.  

Lately the subject of finding a job I actually enjoy has been on my mind.  I am just so afraid that I won’t find something that I particularly like because I haven’t found a specific career goal yet.  I decided that I will go to the Fresno State (nearby university) Career Fair on Tuesday and I am just going to keep an open mind and put myself out there.  Maybe I’ll express interest in jobs I hadn’t before, maybe I’ll be exposed to some I didn’t know about.  I’m just really hoping that this career fair will be helpful because I don’t feel like time is on my side at the moment.

Job hunting is tough, I am not really enjoying the process so far.

February 24, 2016

For the past couple of days my thoughts have been focused on not my issues, but my sister’s.  My sister goes to a JC (junior college) and has plans to transfer to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.  If you know my sister, you know that going to Cal Poly is all that she’s ever wanted.  I hate to brag, but she is an EXCELLENT student, always getting good grades.

The other day she received an email that said she had gotten accepted to Cal Poly!! Here’s the thing, last semester she got a D in trigonometry.  This was huge because she had all A’s and struggled with trig, but worked really hard.  She had a C up until the final, which brought her grade down.  The Cal Poly acceptance email reminded students that they had to get a C or better in all courses, so naturally she freaked out.

Fast forward a few days and she made an appointment with the department she wants to go into at Cal Poly. She explained her situation and asked if she could get more specific information on whether or not she would eventually be accepted despite the D. No answers.  Then she made an appointment with the dean of mathematics at her JC, and explained her situation again.  He told her that he would gladly change her grade, but he can’t because he leaves that responsibility to the instructors.  This particular instructor was not too kind when it came to Emily’s situation.

And so now, due to all of the confusion, my sister is having a rough time. She won’t find out if she is officially into Cal Poly until after the semester is over, but she has to commit to a school by May 1st which doesn’t make any sense in my mind.  College is an opportunity to learn, so why are universities making it so hard to get there in the first place? Watching this whole situation unfold has really disappointed me.  I was a big fan of Cal Poly before, but now that I’ve seen the way they treat and handle transfer students, I have lost some respect for them.

Hopefully, for my sister’s sake, this mess gets cleared up.

February 20, 2016

This week was a roller coaster of emotions, and I mean that in a completely non-cliche type of way.

As I expressed in my last blog post, I was pretty stressed out.  I felt overwhelmed and had a lot on my plate, which didn’t help my mood.  On Thursday, I got an email saying that I basically needed to take 5 classes to graduate.  As a last semester senior, this email gave me quite the heart attack.  I spent the rest of the day scrambling, trying to get things straightened out while at the same time keeping the rest of my responsibilities in check.  Finally, at the end of the day, I got another email explaining that there were a few mistakes and that everything was straightened out.  I was cleared for graduation.

Thank God!

That moment put everything into perspective and I finally realized that very soon, my college experience would be over.  I don’t have immediate plans to go to grad school, so at the moment this is it.  College is coming to an end.  I thought back to all of the times I struggled with required classes.  I transferred twice (crazy, I know) so I almost got used to the constant battle of trying to get my existing classes to count towards graduation.  As of now, I don’t have to do that anymore.  Such a relief, all transfer students can relate!!

As a little celebration, I chose to spend the weekend at home being lazy and relaxing.  I didn’t let myself get caught up in the stress of everything because pretty soon this college experience will be over.

I’ve heard a lot of crazy, stressful transfer student stories, and I honestly think that transfers have it harder than traditional undergrads. Who else thinks so?

If you have a personal story from your experience as a transfer student, let me know in the comments!